The first man I gave my number to after being widowed was a half-drunk traveler to the U.S. who wasn’t sure how to get to his Brooklyn apartment.
“Uber should be able to get me home,” he said, stepping off the high-end luxury yacht we had been on for the past six hours.
A common effect of grief is feeling guilty about what we think we could or should have done, and sometimes, what we did do.
Grief is hard. It is exhausting and mentally taxing. And while I’m sure you may know this, or have experienced glimpses of this by now, I want you to know that your pain is fully real, completely valid, and entirely yours.
If you’re a friend or family member trying to provide comfort to a grieving heart, the last thing you want to do is bring them more pain. So when you’re told, “Your words and actions are hurtful. You don’t understand,” it may be easy to feel unappreciated or confused. I was just trying to help, you think. The Story of Peanuts and Grief After a long walk, Maria said to her friend Samantha, “Hey, I’m kind of hungry.” Samantha, recalling she had food in her backpack, offered some to Maria. “Hey, here’s some peanuts. I know it’s not much, but it’s all I have.” “Oh, I appreciate it, but I’m afraid I’m allergic,” said Maria. “But, I’m trying to be helpful. Just eat the peanuts,” Samantha said a bit bothered with her friend. “It’s kind of you, but the peanuts you’re giving me will make my stomach hurt more,” Maria…